![]() if the relationship with my mother is irreconcilable then so be it. I am planning to go home this weekend and talk to my father. i really need some advice from people who have been through something simular or from people who know what to do. this has been ongoing for the past 4/5 years (at a serious level). usually when things get bad he dramatically improves and she takes him back. which leads me to believe he doesnt want this to happen. my father is being as awkward as possible dividing things and money and is making it almost impossible for her to pursue a separate life. (so environment and genetics both play a factor) but my mum has been so hurt by him she is "cutting her losses" as she knows he would never get help. none of us have talked to my father about his condition but he has completely pushed her away, i discussed it over the phone with her last night and she says its something she has thought about, as his mother committed suicide when he was 8 and so was raised in an awful foster family until he was 16. My mum is now at the stage where she has had enough. and throwing away plug in air fresheners which he likes to buy (which we used to have a joke how much we disliked them.) but she would never throw them away we would always put up with them. now they are back in the uk my sister is in between terms at uni so is living at home and has been emailing me saying that he is accusing her of hiding the remote controls to all the tvs in the house. whenever they had a moment alone with my boyfriend he would constantly ask him to please look after me and please make sure i was safe. ![]() When my boyfriend arrived he completely changed to being excessively friendly to the point of being creepy. my mum would always try to make him see sense, but in his mind we were just "in it together" (in his words) "to see how far we could push him" there were various other scenarios, including accusing me of taking euros out of his bedside table. this then got worse as he later said he had realised why i had come over there in the first place (nope apparently not to have abit of sun, and spend time with my parents) but he was adamant i had come over to ruin his time off and holiday. this caused a little conflict as he then accused me of lying when i objected. i honestly had not seen it for my entire stay over there. ![]() ![]() and one night, completely out of blue asked why i had been fiddling with it and 'tampering' with it. he has a timer watch which he uses and depends on. he is a runner and takes training very seriously. this is the time i have seen him the worst. My parents have a house abroad, so in june i decided to join them for a couple of weeks, and during the last few days, my boyfriend joined us. He can be very loving and caring, and i can honestly say i had a wonderful childhood, i remember him as being overly generous, kind and very funny. whenever we are all at home together (birthdays, christmas etc, seemingly happy occasions) he accuses my sister and i of trying to purposefully create conflict between them, and accuses my mum of trying to 'destroy' his relationship with his daughters. however the good and caring side to him used to outweigh the negatives. Growing up there was always a running theme that he thought my mum was having an affair, he would even come and question me and my sister about it, a time a remember it being bad is when she got a christmas card from a male colleague at work. as i no longer live at home i have not been around to completely oversee his deterioration. My parents have been married for 37 years and they are finally going their separate ways after 4 very rocky years of being together, because of my fathers illness. Im 22 and have been living away from home for 3 years now.
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